Hermione's Hoax
by Morag X. Henegev
Summary: Hermione tries to make Draco fall in love with her to get back at him, but another 'sword story' gets tangled in by Draco's father, and Harry and Ron's reaction when they find out about Hermione and Draco.
1. The Decapitation of Pride

'And there's nothing more dangerous  
Than a man with nothing to lose  
Nothing to live for  
And nothing to prove'  
  
Dead Can Dance, 'I Can See Now'  
  
Advocating: HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related indicia are trademark of Warner Bros. (A/N: hehehe, I got that off my Harry Potter napkins, so you can say that even my disclaimer should have a disclaimer)   
  
A/N: it may be a bit too cheesy for me starting the story with the Potions class, like many other fanfics start, but I consider it the best way to start the story.  
  
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Snape raised his snake-like eyes, scrutinising the students' potions. Hermione bit her lower lip, knowing that how perfect her Sleeping Potion is, Professor Snape must find something worth fixing (and taking away points).   
Neville's soft whimper, who sat behind her, indicated that Snape was finished with torturing him, and next on Snape's list was her and Harry and Ron's table. Harry gave no notice after Snape pointing out that that his potion is not the exact shade and that it can take drinker into the frenzy trance instead of relaxed sleep.   
-"Mr Weasley, what do you think you're doing?" - Professor Snape asked, taking away Ron's knife which he was cutting dried lavender stem with.   
Hermione, with the corner of her eye noticed the sneering pale face turning automatically around to follow the event. She hated that face with those two lead-gray eyes. The face of Draco Malfoy.   
-"I am cutting the lavender stem, Sir" - Ron said firmly, in a bit of sarcastic voice, like 'isn't that obvious, duffus?'. That was a big mistake.   
Somewhere from back of the room was heard Goyle's moronic snickering and he said to Lavender: -"Haha Brown, Weasley is cutting YOUR stem."   
-"I can see that" - Snape growled softly, turning Ron's knife downwards, the way Mike Myers does when he carries it around, -"but you are not doing it properly. Ten points off Gryffindor."   
Ron said nothing. Snape just stabbed the knife into the table, in the front of Ron, turning around and walking away.   
  
-"What does he want? Does he think we have manual about 'How To Cut Lavender?" - Ron snapped as they were walking away form Snape's classroom after the class. Somewhere from behind echoed Lavender's shrill 'HEY!', but everyone ignored her.   
-"Well Weasley, that only proves that your IQ level is as pitiful as Longbottom's."   
That well known smug voice said unto them. No one even had to turn around; Draco was walking behind them with his usual escort of Crabbe and Goyle.   
-"At least it is still bigger than yours" - Hermione found herself snapping at the Malfoy. Harry and Ron would let Hermione deal with Malfoy because they were hoping she'll hit him again. They knew that if they started fight with him it would come up to no good due to Snape's protege of his favourite student. But Draco would have no excuse, even in front of Professor Severus Snape, if he would hit a girl.   
-"Saint Mudblood, defending her mediocre friend. Tell me, does your head pop out due to the size of your oversized brain?" - he drawled smirking, his elegant black cloak swirling behind him.   
-"Shove off, Malfoy" - said Harry as they entered into the Great Hall, luckily losing Malfoy somewhere on their way to the table. It was dinner.   
-"This Malfoy is a real pest" - Ron snapped, sitting down and immediately pouring food into his plate.   
-"Wow, thank your for informing us, Mister Obvious" - retorted Lavender Brown.   
-"But he is kind of cute" - added Parvati, and it made them both giggle.   
-"So immature" - said Hermione, reading her library copy of 'Black Obelisk' by E. M. Remarque. Now and then, she enjoyed dedicating herself to a bit of Muggle literature. A bit of light reading, as she would call it. To her, writers like Thomas Mann, Robert Ludlum, and Tom Clancy were 'light'.   
-"Malfoy is smirking at me weirdly" - Ron broke the silence.   
-"Malfoy is smirking at ME, Ron, not at you. He still thinks it's funny the fact that Slytherin finally won the Quidditch match over Gryffindor." - Harry muttered gravely, his gaze locking with Draco's, over the rows of tables, trying to kill each other with their stares.   
Apparently, Slytherin won the last Gryffindor-Slytherin match. But at was all too suspicious. Before the game started, someone sneaked into the Gryffindor dressing room and put on a temporary spell onto everything to be covered with itch powder. Gryffindors, not knowing this of course, went to the field, and in the middle of the game they would be scratching themselves all over. Madam Hooch had no proof that the itching powder was set on, so she couldn't have asked for rematch.   
-"Harry, you know they won only because they cheated" - Hermione glanced up from book's absorbing world of funeral home in the pre-W.W.II Germany.   
-"That doesn't matter. We should have had a rematch" - Ron snapped at her, a spike of his red hair falling over his lightly freckled brow. The Weasley family was in such bad money situation that they had to save wherever they could. One of the targets was Ron's hair, they couldn't afford him haircut, and Ron didn't want to go near his mother with scissors, because last time she cut his hair, he looked like mine fields.   
-"Well it is just Quidditch. You can still win the house championship, come on, we do it every year" - Hermione said, as a matter of fact. But it was an atrocious thing to say. Harry went aghast, and Ron wanted to explode.   
-"It is just Quidditch? What do you mean by that?" - Ron demanded, trying to keep his outraged voice down.   
-"Ron I am sorry I didn't mean..." - Hermione said on verge of tears.   
-"It is just Quidditch" - Ron repeated mimickin girl's voice.   
-"Ron, come down, I think you're overreacting" - Harry pulled his friend for his sleeve, but Hermione was sure that reaction inside of Harry was ever worse than Ron's.   
-"I think I'll go to sleep" - Ron said, walking away from the table.   
-"Ron, it's only..." - Hermione cried.   
-"I think I'll go with him" - added Harry and left.   
Hermione didn't go after them, but sat at the table, reading, and eating an uncontrollable amount of food.   
-"Hermione, I think you're putting too much sauce onto your mashed potatoes. You don't want to be fat, do you?" - Parvati's voice sceeched, as her and Lavender were leaving the table.   
Hermione just shrugged her shoulders, continuing to read her book and consume her over-sauced mashed potato.   
  
She decided to leave the table when she realised that only other people left were Filch, who would usually consume the food after majority left the Great Hall (letting Mrs Norris eat out of his plate), and Hagrid, who was working on the steaks.   
Putting everything in her bag, Hermione went away, heading towards the Gryffindor tower. Deciding to take the longer route, she passed bunch of the unknown passes. As she was just entering through he nicely elaborated room, with swords held by the armour exposed, she heard some voice. Too late she released that the voice belonged to no one else than Draco Malfoy.   
-"...Father says I am still to young to have my own sword" - he was talking animatedly to Crabbe and Goyle, swaying the sword around, like he was beheading someone - "but I must disagree with him, I am fifteen, you know. When I was twelve, he promised me he'll get me a sword when I am able to hold it with no problems, because swords are realy heavy... but now he is like, 'you don't need it' and 'what do you need it for'... I think that if I am nice to Mother, she'll end up buying one to me... but that would make Father angry... oh, the Mudblood Granger. Care to join me in my fencing practice?" - Draco said, noting her trying to sneak without him noticing, and putting the tip of the sword on the floor.   
-"I think I'll pass" - she said scornfully.   
-"Do you think that if I decapitate her, anyone will notice?" - Draco said, holding suddenly the shaper tip of his sword was an inch away from Hermione's neck, and she dropped her bag on the floor. Crabbe and Goyle, traditionally laughed stupidly.   
-"One less Mudblood... no one would care" - Draco said softly taking Hermione around her waist from behind, and putting the blade of the sword over her neck. If she wasn't so scared from Draco, she could smell his strong perfume, feel his body over hers, enjoy his breath on the back of her neck. Draco, like his father, enjoyed other people suffering.   
-"Draco let me go" - said Hermione quietly.   
-"Deal... but only if dead" - he hissed, laughing shrilly.   
Sadistically, he drove the blade to her neck, and instead of cutting her, he quickly pushed her away from herself, and she fell into the hands of Crabbe and Goyle who took firm hold of her. He walked to her, wearing only white shirt, black pants, and black boots. If she wasn't so scared from Draco, she would take notice how hot he actually appeared.   
-"What do you want to do with me?" - she cried.   
-"Remember in our third year... you hit me" - he sneered, looking at the long blade of his sword.   
-"You were a real ass" - she retorted.   
-"You never hit Draco Malfoy and get away with it" - he said into her face. Crabbe and Goyle were still holding her, not moving.   
-"Oh come on, are you a donkey and have to get revenge for EVERYTHING?" - she said, gathering back some of her courage, and trying to get away from Crabbe and Goyle.   
-"Something like that... you can even imagine what I have in store for your lovers, Potter and Weasley..."  
-"What are you going to do with me? You won't get away with this?" - she snapped.   
-"Oh nothing... don't worry, I know will tell someone if I try to harm you... that is why I prefer back-stabbing people without them knowing it was me... but please, allow me to tell you what would I do with Potter and Weasley" - he drawled, putting his sword back to the armour where it belonged at, and turning to Hermione.   
-"Potter... he is an annoying little fly... I would let leaches suck blood of him, than cut over his body with razors... but he is still the famous Harry Potter, and it would be pity that his precious flesh is ruined... I would kill him by poising him with arsenic... have you ever seen movie 'Queen Margot'? I did, even though I have a strict policy against Muggle stuff, this movie was remarkable... nevertheless, the King of France accidentally got poisoned with arsenic... he died in worst suffering... he ended up sweating blood..."  
-"Draco, you are mad" - she said feebly.   
-"No, no, no, please don't say that. I am perfectly sane, I am just a bit a sadist... I really don't know who did I get it from..."   
'I guess it's running in the family' Hermione thought sarcastically.   
-"Don't think ill of me. I would not really do all that to your friend... I would just let him go, like I am letting you go..." - he said innocently. Crabbe and Goyle immediately released her.   
-"Have a nice day. Mudblood" - Draco said, shooing her away. Hermione picked up her bag and went to the Gryffindor Common Room.   
  
'Bumblebee' was Gryffindor password. Hermione went inside. 'Harry and Ron sleeping, right' she thought. They were sitting at the table, talking animatedly to each other. She knew what they were doing, their amusing Divination homework. She wondered who is going to get raped by the hord of veelas this time... last time it was Ron...   
She thought, as she was going upstairs that they called after her, but she didn't care. They really upset her at the table. 'Stupid Quidditch....'   
And Draco upset her even more. He is one little cocky prick. 'Father says I am still too young to have my own sword' was playing inside her head. And it caused her to slam the door that the hinges shook.   
-"Calm down" - said Parvati, green mask over her face. Her famous cucumbers mix for face...  
-"I am going to kill him" - Hermione snapped, sitting down at the bed.   
-"Kill who dear?" - asked Lavender from the vanity table.   
-"I shall slice his little pale body in half after I pull all his silver-blond hair out of his head, and throw it into Pansy Parkinson's mouth, when she loves him so much" - Hermione was saying.   
-"Oh... why would you want to kill Draco Malfoy?" - Parvati jumped, blinking. She was a bit funny in her white bathing robes, her hair in a towel, and her face covered in green mask.   
-"How did you know it was Draco Malfoy?" - Hermione snapped, looking at her.   
-"We all know who has pale skin and sexy silver-blond hair in our school, m'dear" - shrugged Lavender combing her dark blond hair.   
-"Why do you want to kill him?" - Parvati said, jumping on Hermione's bed. Hermione knew they won't leave her alone until she told them everything.   
  
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'What do we do for love, always happens for that side of good and bad'.   
  
Friedrich Nietzsche 


	2. Experiment IV

'Deliver me from these feverish eyes  
That threaten to unbalance my state of mind  
For I must confess to the smallest of my crimes  
A sense of guilt'  
  
A/N: this is a short chapter, but when I did my story outline, it fitter perfectly. With this rate, the way I planned it, story should have nine chapters, and the next one would be kind of short, too.   
  
Advocating: Harry Potter and characters related to him do not belong to me. And I am not making money of this, though I wouldn't mind...  
  
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-"Why do you want to kill him?" - Parvati said, jumping on Hermione's bed. Hermione knew they won't leave her alone until she told them everything.   
-"He is just being a prat, that's it" - sighed Hermione. Of course that wasn't it. Lavender pointed that, jumping on Hermione's bed, beside Lavender, faster than thunder.   
-"Never were you so serious about harming Draco before... you wanted to make Buckbeak harm him some more, than there was a time you were planning to beat him up yourself... and just after the Gryffindor lost the match you were planning to stick his superb broomstick up his arse" - Parvati was saying, carelessly.   
Hermione stared absently outside the window into the thick rain.   
-"Either you tell us, or we make you drink the truth potion" - Lavender threatened in her girly voice.   
-"Where are you going to get the truth potion? Professor Snape?" - Hermione said a bit scornfully.   
-"We could lure him into giving it to us" - said Parvati sweetly, batting her long eyelashes.   
-"Even though we think he swings on the other side" - Lavender added. -"So, if you don't tell us, we'll get Seamus to lure Snape into giving truth potion."  
And Hermione then told them everything. From her fight with Harry and Ron just because she wasn't nice enough to Quidditch. Parvati and Lavender agreed with her that guys are really exaggerating when it comes to the importance of Quidditch. Then they came the part of the little Draco encounter only for Lavender's comment to emerge - "Draco held you close to him, that's so sexy."   
-"I think you are REALLY missing the point" - sighed Hermione, hugging the pillow under her body. Parvati and Lavender weren't the brightest starts in the sky, but they were benign and weren't as nearly as malicious as Pansy. They would be annoying most of the time as they shared the dormitory, but the other time, they would provide Hermione with all the girls talks she really needed. How ever hard Hermione tried, Harry and Ron just couldn't grasp that once a month girl gets cranky due to her bio-hormonal state.   
-"And you want to kill him, don't you?" - Parvati said, thinking deeply. Her eyes glittered like two jewels under the cucumber cover.   
-"Yes, I shall kill him" - replied Hermione flatly.   
-"No, no, no, darling, that's not the way to go" - sighed Lavender rolling her eyes.   
-"What's wrong with killing him?"  
-"Honey, you have no style. There are other ways to hurt a male... and I am not talking about cutting off his genitals. No, no, I have a better plan to get back at Draco..." - Parvati said sneakily.   
-"Does it include killing the Malfoy?" - Hermione beamed.   
-"Of course not. Now listen... what is the most important thing to Draco?"   
-"His father? Hey, she should kill Lucius Malfoy, shouldn't she?" - Lavender looked like Christmas came early.   
-"No, honey, something about him that is only important to him. He is the most important thing to himself... now if we hurt his ego... I have the best plan in the decade!"  
-"Then tell us!" - snapped Lavender.   
-"Fine. Hermione, you'll make Draco fall in love with you, making sure you don't fall in love with him. And when he gets all happy, you'll dump him like he was that convict, Sirius Black..." - Parvati said, delighted with herself.   
-"That would be wonderful" - jumped Lavender, screaming shrilly. Parvati joined her.   
-"That is genius, but it has one little tiny flaw" - Hermione rolled her eyes.   
-"Yes, we know, you don't want to kiss him, right?" - Parvati said, giggling.   
-"Well no... and yes...   
'But how do we make him fall in love with me. He has the lowest opinion of me... he calls me all those names.... and I don't think that he would like his father being mad at him because he is dating a girl of Muggle heritage" - Hermione whined.   
Parvati blinked her large eyes once, staring blankly at Hermione - "Honey, that way it's even better. Daddy Lucius shan't be happy that his little brat-prat-rat is going out with a Muggle-heritage girl, and he'll be mad at Draco... please, please, we'll help you get him to fall in love with you... we know everything about guys..."   
-"So, I would be like your little guinea pig so you can test what works best on guys."   
-"No, no, no, darling, all the methods are already checked. Like one where you wear a short skirt, and then accidentally drop something, and when you're picking it up, you let... well the chosen guy sees something when you are down" - Lavender said innocently.   
-"I am not going to go around showing my underwear" - Hermione snapped at them.   
-"No, but there are other tricks... like wearing something with big cut, and than lowering and exposing your bosom" - suggested Parvati.   
-"No, thanks. If you can think of a smart way to make Draco fall in love with me, then I accept. But, I will not go around exposing my panties and boobs."  
-"She is going to do it" - screamed Parvati and Lavender joined her. Hermione put her hands over her ears as the other two girls made loud shrill tones.   
-"Uhm, could you please stop" - Katie Bell opened their door, looking annoyed, and peering into the dormitory.   
-"Sorry" - Lavender said, going back to the vanity table.   
-"Why are you screaming anyway?" - she asked, curious.   
-"Oh, Hermione just said that she wants to make Draco fall in love with her just to get back at him" - Lavender said casually.   
-"Lavender!" - Hermione and Parvati snarled at her.   
-"Oh I'm sorry for asking, but don't worry, I won't tell anyone" - chuckled Katie.   
-"See, now she's going to tell Draco" - Parvati frowned, going towards the bathroom to take her mask off.   
-"She doesn't like Draco, either" - retorted Lavender.   
Parvati slammed the door of the bathroom. Every dormitory had it's own bathroom, and Hermione's one was covered in black marble. And when Parvati and Lavender came, they put large mirrors everywhere around. There was not a single square in the bathroom that wasn't covered in mirror, accept the sink, bathtub, and of course... well, toilet, what else.   
  
-"Hermione, I suggest you to sleep now, instead of studying... you have to sleep to be prettier" - yawned Lavender hour after, staring at Hermione sitting at the bed and reading a Transfiguration book.   
-"Don't worry about me..."  
-"You know, on Saturday... when we go to Hogsmeade... we'll take you to the salons and spas... you'll be the prettiest and most charming girl in Hogwarts" - Parvati's slurred words came.   
-"Hmm..." - Hermione yawned, deciding to finish the chapter next morning.   
  
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'you wanna be an angel, wanna be a star  
wanna play some magic on my guitar' 


	3. The Great Makeover

'White clouds shall float up from the great waters at the border of the world clustering about the mountain terraces.'  
  
A/N: this chapter ought to be interesting. Like all the other girls, I like the make-overs and shopping and all those things... Hermione should have fun once in a while, taking her nose out of the book.   
Advocating: Harry Potter, characters, names, and related indicia are the property of Warner Brothers. This disclaimer is the property of Warned Brothers, too.   
  
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Hermione woke up next morning clutching book in her hands. It was Saturday morning. She peered with one eye to see Parvati and Lavender pushing each other to get a clear view in the mirror of the vanity table. They were both combing their hair. Hermione thought for a moment how shiny and sleek their hairs were, unlike hers, but than she remembered that she has to work on the Transfiguration essay.   
It was the last day of the school on Monday before the Christmas break, and McGonagall said that she wants them to hand in the essays after the break, but knowing Hermione, she thought that it would be easier to do it today. She thought for a moment about the upcoming Yule Ball, and who would ask her out. It would be nice if Parvati's plan would work out and Draco fell in love with her. Draco was hot, one of the best looking guys in the school. And just to think that he held her close to him... but she wanted to put stop on that. His 'holding her' had nothing to do with being romantic, just a pure sadism.   
-"She's awake" - screamed Parvati and ran over Hermione's bed. Lavender followed her, clutching her silver hair brush.   
-"Mhuhpf" - Hermione muttered.   
-"Hermione, you have to get up... today's Saturday... Hogsmeade Saturday... we are taking you to all these places... hair-stylist... spa... clothes shopping... come on get up" - Lavender screamed excitedly, pulling Hermione out of the bed. Hermione rubbed her eyes, dropping the book.   
-"But I promised Harry and Ron I'll go with them to the Quidditch store and..."   
-"Hey, don't you remember? Ron and Harry are mad at you because they like Quidditch too much. No sir, we are taking you today, and making you the pretties girl in the whole school" - Parvati said theatrically, getting Hermione a towel and a robe, and with Lavender's help, shoving Hermione into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.   
Hermione strolled to the mirror over the sink, supporting her weight by leaning on the wall. She couldn't open her eyes properly. Gazing at her soft reflection she caught her shiny eyes and small nose. She was pretty just never dedicated enough time to her look.   
She took a short shower, wiped all the water off her body, and went outside in the robes. Parvati waited for her there, showed some neutral clothes in her hands, and Hermione went back inside to put it on.   
In the meantime, as Hermione was putting it on, someone knocked on the door of the dormitory.   
Lavender floated to the door and opened it, her long hair falling over her shoulders. Harry and Ron stood there.   
-"Uhm, can we talk to Hermione?" - Harry asked timidly.   
-"She's getting dressed. But sure, come in" - Parvati also flew over, pulling Harry and Ron inside.   
-"So, we heard you two are mad at Hermione" - Lavender put her arms on the hips, along with Parvati, standing over Harry and Ron.   
-"Uhm... no... not at all..." - Ron said in small voice.   
-"She was really sad" - Parvati snarled.   
-"We wanted to tell her we are sorry" - Harry added to Ron's words.   
-"Okay, you can say you are sorry" - giggled Lavender and went to the bathroom door. She knocked softly and Hermione emerged out, looking as she always would. Her hair was falling over her navy blue cardigan. Her plait skirt was slightly shorter than she usually wore.   
Hermione was totally cool that Harry and Ron were in her dormitory. They were there only once before.   
-"Hi" - she said softly to them.   
-"Uhm... hi" - Harry and Ron chorused shyly.   
-"So, Hermione, we are going to breakfast now, and you come and join us" - Parvati broke the silence, grabbing Lavender's sleeve, and they ran outside.   
-"We are sorry" - said Harry quietly after long and uncomfortable silence.   
-"Forget it" - Hermione laughed.   
-"We have come to conclusion that it is not worth giving away friendship over Quidditch" - said Ron in such monotonous voice, as he was practising to say this in front of the mirror.   
-"Just forget it" - Hermione beamed, hugging Ron and Harry into a tight hug (knocking Harry's glasses askew).   
-"So, are we going to go to the Quidditch Store?" - jumped Ron, opening the door for Hermione.  
-"Well... I promised Parvati and Lavender I'll go with to the hair salon" - Hermione winced uneasily.   
-"Then we can go after" - Harry protested.   
-"Well I am going to a spa... they have to do some facials on me... and manicure and pedicure... and waxing... you know... and than tanning...  
Ron opened his mouth to protest, but Hermione continued.   
-"Then we have to go shopping. You know, new clothes. Don't worry, I won't forget to buy your Christmas presents."   
As they walked, both Harry and Ron turned their faces to such beaten miserable expressions that Hermione had to say: - "You know what, I'll meet you at five o'clock at Three Broomstick."  
It cause them both to smile pitifully, as they were sitting down at the Gryffindor table. As soon as Parvati noticed Hermione, she came over and sat down, leaving Lavender to giggle at Seamus who talked animatedly to her. By Seamus' gesticulation, it looked as though he was explaining Lavender something about Quidditch. She stared at him blankly, saying 'uh-um' and batting her eye lashes.   
-"Non, non, non" - Parvati grabbed Hermione's fork that went in direction of bacon - "bacon is bad for figure. Makes you fat."   
-"Hermione's not fat. She's rather good looking" - Ron winked at Hermione's direction. Hermione highly suspected that it is because of her last year's advice to ask her out for the Yule Ball before someone else does.   
-"Oh, nonsense. There you go, have some vegetables."   
-"Parvati, I am not a rabbit" - Hermione sighed, though accepting the food gratefully.   
-"So remind me, Hermione, why are we having a Yule Ball again this year?" - Ron asked Hermione, leaning over to her.   
-"Because of some stupid anniversary. Baliwald the Mad was defeated by Archibald the Blue. Mister Binns was talking about it whole last lecture."  
Hermione glanced once at the Slytherin table, finding Draco Malfoy talking sulkily to his cronies Crabbe and Goyle. Her eyes sharp and cunning, she wanted to get back at Draco more than ever. And yes, she'll do it the 'Parvati-Lavender Way' what ever it takes to make Draco fall in love with her. 'That miserable blond rat..." she thought crashing her vegetables with her fork with all force she could muster.   
-"Honey eat, you're going to faint otherwise" - Parvati snapped at her. Then she sat there, with her elbow supporting her head, staring at Hermione (quite annoying).   
-"We'll have to do something with your eyebrows... the full look is now trendy, but I actually think it's really ugly... even though I got myself wide eyebrows... anyway, best if you go after a well-known, checked looked with thin arched eyebrows... that's the sexiest..." - Parvati was talking to herself.   
Harry and Ron exchanged worried glance and a shrug, ignoring Parvati.   
-"And your hair... hmm... we'll do the Japanese straightening thingamajig, and get bunch of straightening, hair-silk, and de-frizzing products... You have dark blond hair, like Lavender... you would look good with blond highlights.... no, it's too obvious, you don't want to look like that cow, Pansy Parkinson... we'll just settle for some nice golden-brown highlights, but to look natural..."  
-"I'm finished" - said Hermione, quite happily that she won't have to listen to Parvati babbling anymore.   
  
Hogsmeade was covered in thick layer of show that was charmed so it never gets dirty. It was shinning blazily under the cold winter sun. Of course, the sidewalks were cleared out so Parvati and Lavender didn't get their boots dirty.   
-"Wash her hair."   
-"Cut it."  
-"Straight, no layers."  
-"And lose the fringes."   
Parvati and Lavender ordered when they have taken Hermione to the hair-stylist. The little plum, smiling witch, did as they said. Then she straightened Hermione's hair, dyed it golden-brown, and put bunch of hair conditioners to make her hair looks silky and pretty.   
Hermione couldn't believe that it was her, staring in the mirror with long sleek hair.   
  
The spa process was being a little painful. Especially the waxing. When they did her eyebrows, just as Parvati said, thin and arched, she was crying. She didn't like the feeling of light in her eyes and the hot was on her face. And Lavender insisted she does the full-bikini line, even though Hermione saw no purpose.   
-"When you go out with Draco, and he puts his hands down your pants... you don't want him to feel all hairy..." - Parvati was saying.   
-"I will just make him fall in love with him, not give myself to him." - Hermione snapped outraged.   
-"Yes darling, but when you are left in your thong-"  
-"Lavender, I don't wear thong!"  
-"Well, you do now" - Lavender smiled benignly, walking with Hermione over to the American Owl Outrobes store.   
-"No way."   
-"YES WAY!" - screamed Parvati and Lavender at her.   
Inside, there were aisles and aisles of robes and skirts and shirts and jeans.   
-"Let's get you a pair of jeans" - Lavender pulled Hermione by her sleeve, while Parvati stayed to admire her long blue nails she just done in the mirror.   
-"Try those ones on" - Lavender said, giving her a really low-rise jeans. -"Okay, okay, these ones then."   
Hermione exited the store with three large begs. She bought new sexy dress for the Yule Ball that Lavender and Parvati had to threaten her with their wands pointed in Hermione's head to try on. Then there was dozens and dozens of shirts with big openings, short skirts, pair of high-healed boots, and pair of tight jeans (and thongs).   
Also, a large portion of accessories, cosmetics, hair-products, and jewellery was not forgotten.   
  
At five o'clock, Hermione walked into the Three Broomsticks, wearing her high healed boots, pair of tight jeans, and sexy tight sweater. Lavender suggested Hermione to take her stuff up to the castle (with Seamus' help, of course). Parvati ran of with some Revenclaw girls.   
Harry and Ron first did not believe her she is Hermione. Then they gasped widely, drooling over the table.   
-"Hi" - she said sweetly. Her silky hair was falling over her shoulders.   
-"Hello sexy" - Ron heard himself saying and immediately went as red as Harry's Quidditch robes. Hermione had the similar reaction. On the other hand, Harry chuckled heartily.   
-"So, uhm, nice hair" - Ron said immediately, avoiding Hermione's eyes for no reason -- she was avoiding his eyes, too.   
-"What did Parvati and Lavender do to you?" - Harry asked, taking a sip of butterbeer.   
-"Oh nothing. Just girls' stuff. You know, doing hair, spas, shopping, nothing special" - she said flatly.   
-"Nothing special, Hermione you look like dark-haired Fleur Delacoeur" - Ron beamed.   
-"Do you want to say that I looked like a troll before, and now I look like a French poo-poo?"   
-"No, no, that's not what I want to say... I just think that you finally found a way to emphasise something other than your inner beauty" - said Ron, knowing what he said is really smart.   
-"That is sweet" - Hermione smiled.   
________________________________________________________________  
  
'Me and my iron maiden  
We were playing together in the park  
Me and my iron maiden  
She is so sharp' 


	4. Iron Maiden

'My iron maiden  
she says she's sorry:  
'We are not friends any more', don't worry  
She shall grant me quick death'  
  
  
A/N: for all you who don't know, the Iron Maiden is a medieval torturing device. I didn't know for a long time, either. If you've seen movie 'Sleepy Hallow', it is that coffin-like thing where the mother of the main-character (Johnny Depp) was stuck into. It is filled inside with sharps pieced of metal so it pierces through the skin when it's closed. Quite creepy death, but they had worse things at that time.   
  
Disclaimer: none of the characters used in the story bellow belong to me and therefore, I am not making any money out of this.   
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
12 PM.   
Draco stared blankly at the ceiling so high it could not be seen in the dim lights of the common room's angry fires. Everything around him was deserted, his booted feet on the coffee table, leaning over the pampered sofa.   
He stared at his father's letter one more time. There was nothing too important, same old ruddy excuses not to get him his sword. Like 'you don't need it' and 'what do you need it for'. He was tired of his father being objectionable. Couldn't he give his son one straight reason?   
Draco have made him an essay-formatted letter about why should he have a sword. He listed all the reasons, starting with the fact that he's fifteen and that he does not find sword a heavy object anymore.   
But old grouchy dad Lucius would not buy his son a sword.   
  
Draco woke next morning to find himself all in sweat. He had a bad dream. He was inside a room with white fluffy carpet. Dozens and dozens of black scorpions were crawling everywhere around. People were there, too -- Potter, Weasley, and the Mudblood, he recalled. He was screaming loudly in the dream for them to help him because the scorpions seemed to attack ONLY him, but they would just be watching a black box in the corner with moving picture on it.   
He breathed loudly as he drew the curtains of his bed.   
-"You look tired" - commented sourly Blaise Zabini, Draco's roommate - "when did you go to sleep last night?"   
-"That is none of your business" - Draco retorted, trying to catch his breath and sitting on the bed. The dream was awful.   
-"I just asking, jeez..." - said Blaise unto himself and trailed off to the bathroom just as Vincent Goyle stepped out of it. His loud comment was heard over the closed doors: -"Fuck you Goyle, how many times have I told you to do the Anti-Odour charm after you take out your crap!"   
Draco ignored it. And Crabbe and Goyle ignored Draco. They knew his foul mood, they felt it in the air.   
-"Crabbe!" - Draco drawled suddenly, his voice scatty.   
-"Yes" - Gregory turned his troll-like face to Draco.   
-"If bunch of scorpions were attacking me... would you... would you help?"   
-"Of course" - Gregory shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.   
-"What day is it today?"   
-"It's Saturday, the Hogsmeade Saturday" - Vincent answered instead. He knew it was, because he was waiting for it so he could go and buy new issue of 'Playwitch'.   
-"Do they sell swords in Hogsmeade?" - Draco snapped bitterly, getting up.   
-"I dunno" - Vincent replied.   
-"What do you mean, you don't know? Go and ask Warrington if he does" - Draco snarled shoving the door open for Vincent to get out.   
-"He is just getting stupider and stupider everyday. With age, men are supposed to mature, to learn... but he is going backwards" - Draco muttered to himself, opening his trunk and throwing bunch of clothes outside. There was pile of black, gray-blue, charcoal, and white.   
-"Oh, what are you staring, you are just like him" - Draco said unto Gregory, who used to Draco's regular insults, shrugged.   
  
Draco came down to breakfast with company of Gregory, wearing white cotton shirt, first three buttons opened, and beige pants. They sat down at the table and Draco glanced around looking what was there to eat -- nothing! They never had a decent meal in Hogwarts in his opinion. All these pastries and pies and things, he could not stand. He loved rice. He could eat anything, even raw meat, as long as he had rice.   
-"Hi Draco" - sung Pansy, sitting down where Vincent usually sat.   
-"Hello" - Draco replied politely, giving one of his fakest smiles to her. He was always nice to her, but never too affectionate. He knew he could get anything from her, but then it wouldn't be fun.   
-"So did you decide who are you taking to the Yule Ball?" - she asked, going through her died blond hair.   
-"Well I did" - he smiled to her mystically.   
-"Who is the lucky lady?" - she giggled.   
-"Just wait and you may find out" - he smiled, patting over her hand.   
-"Ooh, I bet she must be very pretty when someone as hot as you, Draco, is after her..."   
-"Of course".   
And Pansy left, on Draco's relief. There was no mystery-lady. He still didn't know who to ask out for the Yule Ball. He knew that there was that daughter of his father's friends, Sheila, that went to some other wizard school. She would probably accept to come for one night to Hogwarts. And she was pretty enough for Draco, long black hair and blue eyes, but she was never really interested in him.   
But Draco knew always to be nice to girls. Even if they are 'Mudbloods' he would show a certain note of courtesy. Like when Hermione hit him and he didn't hit her back. Like last night when he could've harmed Hermione and he didn't. Well, not physically. Of course, one of the reasons why he left her safe and sound was that she would tell someone, but his father always used to say 'dead mouth can't talk' (only if she became a ghost....).   
His father once has also told him, in those exact words - "Women are not very smart, they just ask for a bit of affection and you'll have their sex. The real ones are the ones that won't fall on that trick. To whom you have to make them fall in love with you to get to fuck them". Of course, Draco was sure, Lucius would have to be drunk to start the sex theme with Draco. Lucius always thought of Draco as feminine boy, not much into girl, but not really destined to become gay.   
Draco always had those words in his head when he spoke to any female (he wanted badly to prove his father he is manly enough), even McGonagall. But he highly suspected that he will be wanting any sex from her. And he highly suspected that she would give it to him. Maybe she is still a virgin, he thought. 'If I press Snape hard enough, maybe he'll tell me more about her'.   
-"Warrington says that there is one sword shop in Hogsmeade. It's very far from the centre, though, and he didn't know exactly where it is" - Vincent said when he came back.   
-"Splendid" - Draco muttered just in time for the owl mail.   
He received his usual packets, sweets from his mother, letter from his father, and various other things from his relatives. But this time his father included some other speciality; if wasn't another newspaper article ridiculing Weasleys, it was his Christmas money.   
-"Now listen here" - Draco said quietly, beckoning his friends to come nearer - "I've got this money, and I am going to buy a sword today. It should be more than enough. Father always gives me a lot of money."   
-"But what if your father finds out?" - Vincent winced.   
-"He won't find out" - sighed Draco, like he was talking to an idiot (well, he was actually).   
-"He said he is going to stick you inside the Iron Maiden. He says he needs someone to try it out on, anyway" - commented Gregory.   
-"Keep that attitude, and I'll be the one sticking YOU in there, butthead."   
  
Draco liked the cold weather but snow was a vex for him. It would tangle into his hair, melting later and ruining his sleek posture. Crabbe and Goyle followed him closely, each clutching different issue of 'Playwitch' folded so no one could see what is it. Draco didn't care for those things -- just stupid magazines, he guessed. He had candy stacked in his pockets, the one he bought in Honeydukes. Candy was his favourite food after the rice.   
-"Where is the store?" - asked Gregory as they walked down a nearly deserted street.   
-"It should be around here somewhere" - Draco snapped. And just then they were standing in front of story that said 'McAuleys' Swords'. Draco went through the door lazily, Crabbe and Goyle following. He momentarily noticed the silver case on the counter. Not ever looking over the other swords exposed on black velvet walls, Draco opened the case decorated with Celtic patterns. It was a Celtic sword.   
-"Blade length: 37 inches, folded three times by my grandfather personally, made out of the strongest and finest alloy... superb choice Master Malfoy" - said a misty voice from behind of him.   
Draco turned around and recognised the man - tall, gaunt, Scottish accent, black clothes and green velvet vest.   
-"Master Malfoy, long time no see" - the man held out a hand for Draco. Draco shook it.   
-"I was busy, Mr Donald McAuley. Anyway, how much is this sword" - Draco said curiously, taking it out of the silver casing. He gripped the cold metal handle and swayed it around few times. It wasn't too heavy, but heavy enough to cut with no difficulties. Draco liked the feel of it.   
-"It is a lot, Master Malfoy" - said the man smoothly.   
-"Then I'll take it" - Draco said confidently. Crabbe and Goyle admired him from the back of the room.   
-"I am sorry, but I don't think it is possible for you to do so" - answered he.   
-"I have enough money" - Draco sneered.   
-"I don't think that money is problem. You see your father, Master Lucius, he strictly forbid me to sell you anything that has blade" - sighed the man.   
-"What?" - Draco snapped, dropping his sword.   
-"I am sorry, but you cannot buy it."  
-"Stupid skirt-wearing man" - Draco said spitefully in mock-Scottish accent, leaving the store, Crabbe and Goyle behind him.   
  
-"That idiot" - Draco was muttering to himself as they climbed the hills that lead to the castle. Crabbe and Goyle found it prudent to shut up. Even though they were three times bigger then Draco, they were afraid of him.   
In the school, Draco was left alone in the common room alone. Crabbe and Goyle were in the dormitory (read their magazines, and doing *ahem* something else), and the rest of Slytherin was in the Hogsmeade.   
He grabbed the quill and parchment and started writing:   
  
'Dear Father,  
'Guess what? I remember how you told me that what ever I want I should get it. Well I did. I wanted to get that goddamn sword today but the guy in the story told me that you told me not to sell me anything that has blade on it. Oh, silly me, you didn't tell him, you probably threatened. But oh well. Have nice Christmas Holidays and the thing I would like to get out of you is a straight reason why can't I have a sword,   
  
'Love,   
'Draco'  
  
Draco mailed -- sorry, owled the letter. His foul mood brightened up later when people came back from Hogsmeade. Pansy and her friend Laura showed him what they bought in Hogsmeade. Along with all the 'girly stuff', as Draco always called it, they showed him their new thongs and bras. Like, they wanted Draco to give them opinion at all the lacy and frilly stuff. And they giggled a lot as Draco was going over one made out of fishnet. Draco new that they both liked him, but he wasn't particularly interested in either of them. But, he'll need them for sex one day, so as his father used to say 'Bear with it'.   
-"Oh, oh, you know what?" - Pansy started suddenly screaming.   
-"Well actually, I don't know what, if you would tell me..." - Draco said casually.   
-"You know the Granger Mudblood, she went to hair-salon and they died her hair and straightened it up. And she put all that make-up on her... In my opinion she looks really ugly" - Pansy said maliciously knowing that it's not true.   
Laura agreed with her. Laura, a fat girl with ugly face and badly done highlighted hair. Quite hideous, Draco thought that he even wouldn't sleep with her, but she had big breasts in his opinion.   
-"Shall we go and eat?" - Pansy asked, taking Draco's attention of Laura.   
-"Sure, you two go, and I'll join you" - Draco said leaving them. He headed towards the dormitory for Crabbe and Goyle, but they seemed to be left for dinner. Of course, not even their loyalty to Draco could take their mind of the food.   
Draco set of by himself. Corridors were empty; everyone has already came down eat, just he, caught in his thong-talk with Pansy and Laura was left alone. He walked lazily smirking evilly at the portraits of people with aghast skin. He was almost in the great hall, just after one corner he hit someone accidentally. It was a small coalition, a girl that was, and she dropped her book.   
-"I am sorry" - she said timidly as he picked up to get her the book.   
-"My fault, entirely" - he said, noticing that the girl is hot. He glanced at the book, 'Mediaeval Torture Devices' by Adrian Bradford.   
-"Excellent choice, which torturing device if your favourite?" - Draco said, casually leaning on the wall, looking over the book.   
-"Well... it would be to morbid to call it my favourite, but it's iron maiden" - she answered.   
Draco knew that voice, it couldn't be. But he carried along the conversation.   
-"So it's mine... you know, it was also Salaraz Slytherin's favourite device to kill Mudbloods" - he said, his eyes shinning malevolently.   
-"You son of a-"   
-"Are you going to hit me again?" - Draco asked, giving her the book, and chuckling lightly.   
Hermione grabbed her book and answered firmly: -"No."   
And she walked away.   
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
'and southern man can grow gold  
can grow pertty  
blood can be pertty like  
a delicate man'   
  
Tori Amos 


	5. Tangling of the Fair Hair

'Miri it is while summer ilast  
With fughleless song  
Oc nu neheth windes blast  
And weder strong!'  
  
A/N: just one thing straight -- past tense of verb 'to shit' isn't shitted. It's shat.   
  
Advocating: HARRY POTTER names, characters, and related indicia is property of Warner Brothers. This disclaimer is property of Warner Brothers.   
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
Hermione POV, right after she departed from her beloved Draco:  
  
That smug git, he thinks he is so uptight. Well, he shall pay me. He'll be kneeling in front of me... 'Salazar Slytherin used it to torture Mudbloods...' I'd like to see you being a 'Mudblood' in one of your former lives... You and your snobbish family...  
Hmm, I wonder why do I even have this book on me, I mean, it's not like I give a damn about the Medieval Torture... of yes I remember, I was trying to interest Harry into reading something that doesn't have 'Quidditch' written in big letters over the cover. I daresay he'll like it. And maybe I should have a glance through it, what if Draco strikes a conversation about whirligig and I don't know what is it. I mean, I do know what it is, but what if I don't know anything else about it... hey, that would be great idea to strike conversation with Draco, 'Hey baby, does your dad have a whirligig? My parents wanted to get one for Christmas but they gave up due to their basement being so small.'   
Oh, there they are. Great Hall looks so colourful for Christmas, like Parvati and Lavender were decorating it.   
"There you are, Hermione" Lavender, screamed at me, pulling me to sit down. I wanted to go few seats down to be close to Harry and Ron, but it didn't matter, because they came to sit with me.   
"Did you get me any book, Hermione?" Harry asked me politely.   
"No" I lied. I'll look through the book myself first before I let him read it.   
"You know, when I was young, I read Lord of the Rings" Harry said unto me.   
"Yes, it's one of the greatest novels ever."  
Oh there's Draco coming into the Great Hall. Those two sluts Pansy and Laura are turning around for him. So low...  
"Lavender, there's something I want to tell you."  
"I am talking to Seamus" she turned to me, annoyed.   
"It's about Malfoy" I whispered so Harry, who sat beside me, didn't hear.   
"Oh, okay. Seamus, darling, I'll get back at you later" Lavender smiled to him.   
I told Lavender what just happened with Draco.   
"I have a plan" she said sneakily. Suddenly, she noticed that Ron is staring at us from over the table.   
"We are talking about our period, Ron, and if you would like to hear the details, we would be glad to share it with you" Lavender snapped at Ron, who made a face like someone put raw cow's brain in front of him.   
Lavender chuckled lightly.   
"So what is the plan?" I asked.   
"Well... you'll love it, Parvati and I made it. You and Draco get locked into a room, and you work your charm from there."   
"Fine" I smiled shrewdly.   
  
Draco's POV:  
  
Mudblood is so easy to insult... I wonder, why does she gets so bothered when I call her that way... She's hot though... Pansy and Laura are just jealous that they are so tremendously ugly... Fuck, Great Hall is so colourful, like those two Gryffindor chicks, Parvati and Lavender were decorating it... He, he, he, Pansy and Laura are turning around after me... Yes, thank you very much, I know I am really hot... I told father, when we went to shop for clothing, that I look great in khaki, but he was like 'you don't need such a light colour' and 'what do you need such a light colour for?'. I mean, not EVERYTHING can be black. There should be a tiny bit of variation. Like charcoal and dark navy blue.   
"Where are you two, pigs" I snapped sitting between Crabbe and Goyle who left one empty seat for me, in the middle. They were stuffing everything they could reach that was food into their mouth.   
"We went down for dinner, you were conversing with Pansy and Laura" said Gregory maliciously. He had crush on Laura. Well of course, such a great couple, both fat and ugly.   
"Laura's hot, though" wondered Vincent aloud.   
"I'll set her up for you" I told Vincent. I don't care if Gregory has crush on her, he'll do well with Millicent.   
"Who are you going to go with?" Gregory asked me.   
"There is not a single girl in this goddamn school good enough for me" I answered frankly.   
Vincent and Gregory didn't reply. They though I was a narcissus. Honestly, me a narcissus... I mean, I am hot and tall and blond and have that cutest nose and nicest chest, but I don't spend hours and hours in front of the mirror. I don't need to, because I am always hot. Though, I wouldn't mind...   
Hmm... that Mudblood really looks hot... almost hot enough for me... And that tight jeans really looks good on her, not like Pansy with her square ass.   
Mudblood's hair appears almost as soft as mine...   
"Gregory, what's the Mudblood's name?" I asked. The truth was, I knew that Granger Mudblood for ages, but I never caught her name. Damn, isn't she hot.   
"Granger, you know it" Gregory says to me.   
"I know that, but her first name" I snap. They are so retarded, I don't even know how they are passing all these grades.   
"Hermione" he answered. I noticed he was staring at her, too.   
"What, you think that she's hot?" I sneered. Vincent sniggered automatically.   
"Well she does appear that way" he said earnestly.   
I thought for a moment. It was all true. I wanted her badly.   
  
I haven't had a bad dream this night. I reckon I dreamt about moving through the Muggle traffic by the flying carpet, my whole family was there with me. Father, mother, uncle Xavier, aunts Daryl and Sandra, and cousin Malcolm.   
I get first into the bathroom, before either Vincent nor Gregory haven't shat here. I take a shower, and change into black attire. Black pants, black boots, black shirt, and black velvet coat with gold fasting. Father says that black velvet coat reminds him on Elton John. I don't know who he is, but I like velvet. Father says that velvet is only for poofs and women who try to emphasise their sexual need. I disagree with him. I think it is only for people trying to emphasise the power.   
I fetch Vincent and Gregory and we go down to breakfast. Ah, a target appeared just as I exit the dungeons. All alone, more like a prey.   
"Got lost Weasley? Castle too big for you to comprehend? I cannot imagine what kind of shock was for you when you came here to Hogwarts and found that you don't have to share bed with your ugly sister and fat mother?" I sneered evilly, Vincent and Gregory laughed. Weasley turned to me, his face red. He looked a bit lost, like he was waiting for someone.   
"I am waiting for Hermione" he answered me proudly. He thinks he's better then me just because he is friends with the hot Mudblood.   
"It's okay Ron, here I am" she said, coming down the Marble Staircase. She wore short black shirt and tight black blouse. She was damn hot.  
"Oh, here's the Mudblood. So did you think over our last night's conversation about the iron maiden" I sneered to her exposing my white teeth.   
"You had conversation with this worthless moron?" Ron turned to her, outraged.   
"Ron, he was telling me how they used to torture Muggles" Hermione snapped at him. "You know what Ron, go, I'll come to you in a minute. I want to talk to Malfoy for a second."   
Ron left. She waited for me to dismiss Vincent and Gregory. I thought for a minute. I didn't really give shit to what she had to tell me, but maybe I'll need sex one day from her.   
"After breakfast, I am busy right now" I said calmly, small smirk resting on my perfect lips. I bet she is fantasising about me naked right now.   
"Of course, not now, I'll meet you in the Charms classroom" she said, trying to imitate my sneer.   
"Make it the Potions dungeon" I said in exchange leaving her alone, passing, my coat rising up.   
  
Hermione POV:  
  
"He is going to talk to me" I said, sitting down next to Parvati. From the other end of the table, Ron stared at me curiously, wondering what did I want with Malfoy, and why didn't I come to him.   
"Great" she screamed, and glanced over the room to him. "He looks hot today" she commented.   
"Yeah, but there is one tiny problem. He doesn't want to come to the Charms classroom, he said 'make it the Potions dungeon'".  
"But then we cannot lock it" Parvati said shrilly, biting her lower lip.   
"Why?" I wondered.   
"It's Professor Snape's classroom. He would roast me alive if he would find out anything, and he would. Hermione, it wouldn't be safe" she said. She had right. I mean, Snape coming to open his classroom, and finding his favourite student and me. It would look at bit suspicious.   
"You'll just have to work without getting locked in" suggested she.   
"I don't know what to ask him. Parvati, it was all a hoax."   
"Well too bad, haven't Lavender and I taught you anything?" she snapped.   
  
Draco's POV:  
  
Mudblood has hots for me, I know it. He, he, he... That Parvati is starring at me again... she is talking to the Mudblood... of course they are talking about me, who else could they talk about?   
Ah, there's the post. Nothing special today, just father's reply.   
Vincent and Gregory got nothing. They waited for me to read my father's letter.   
  
'Dear Draco' it said. I continued reading after a huge fake sigh; the apocalypse is coming.   
'I have read your letter. What have I told you about using phrases as 'but oh well' in written form? You disgrace me.   
'But then again, you were capable of taking things into your own hands by trying to go yourself and buy a sword. Then again, it a pitiful thing to try, you cannot go against me.   
'You have been pressuring me for a straight reason about the fucken sword. Then there, you can have it. I simply don't want to buy you because you're too feminine. You can have any that you want when you lose your virginity.   
  
'Sincerely,  
'Lucius Malfoy'  
  
Big and loopy was Lucius' signature. Draco copied his handwriting, but it was a good copy.   
"He wants to play it that way... well he'll see" I muttered. Gregory and Vincent didn't hear me, but who cares. I shall lose my virginity. Yes... I shall lose my virginity to the Mudblood. God, can't she be at least a half-blood. I mean, she is hot, but how am I going to explain my fellow Slytherins' I lost my virginity to a Mudblood. Damn, father will be outraged. Maybe then he won't get me a sword. No, he cannot do that. He cannot break the word, Malfoy family honour. Yes, I'll rim the Mudblood.   
But then again, I first have to make her go out with me. You know what, no one will really care that I am going out with a Mudblood as she's the hottest girl in the school.   
Naturally, I am the smartest person ever. Such brilliance has never been seen before. Well maybe my great great great grandfather, Aleister Malfoy. But I heard he was kinky in bed. I heard he would tie his wives to the bed and do them from behind. That's not the worst thing I heard. That's just the most benign start. I shall not proceed.   
Finally, the dinner's over, I shall proceed to something else - the Malfoy show.   
There, Mudblood is leaving. I'll let her go first and then come to her. She can wait for me. Jesus, what the fuck does she want from me? Oh, who cares. I'll just work a bit of Malfoy charm. I know, I'll ask her out for the Yule Ball. She'll be so dazzled to go with someone as hot as me. Everyone would. And then, I'll get her.   
  
Hermione POV:  
  
I hope my plan's going great. I see Malfoy staring at me from the other side of the room. Of course, Parvati and Lavender know what they are doing.   
"Bye" I wave to Harry and Ron, ready to leave. I'll probably have to wait for Malfoy, he seems as one of the guys that love to be waited for.   
"Where are you going?" Ron asked me.   
"To the library" I said casually, exchanging wicked look with Parvati and Lavender.   
I went. Draco followed me with his snake like eyes over the room. I know he likes me now.   
I go down to the dungeon. I hope Snape doesn't come down here before Malfoy, I don't know how would I explain this to him. I hope Snape is too busy talking to Professor McGonagall. I heard the rumours about the two of them, like that they are having an affair. She can find better.   
"This is not very supple surrounding for someone as fair as you" came hoarse voice from behind.   
"Oh really" I raised one of my perfectly thin eyebrows.   
"So, you wanted to talk to me, or something" he did the same eyebrow-raising gesture, unfastening his coat. Parvati and Lavender had right when they said he is terribly cute. Harry and Ron also had right when they said he is smug and is a snob. That is bluntly the nicest thing they said about Draco.   
"Yes, I wanted to ask you out for the Yule Ball" I said boldly. That seemed as the best thing to do. He has to say yes, he wants to go with the hottest girl in the school.   
"Interesting" he winced, walking towards me "that's the exact thing I wanted to ask you."   
He put his hand on my neck, under my hair. Such a confident gesture, quite pleasant. He was taller then me, he stood over me.   
"Wouldn't you be too embarrassed to go with out someone who's a Mudblood?" I asked, wrinkling my nose like a little puppy dog like Lavender and Parvati taught me.   
"Not if she was as hot as you are" he sneered, letting go of me. He walked around the classroom causing really ominous silence.   
"What are those things?" he asked, pointing at something green nasty in a jar on the shelf. One of the Snape's 'evil shelves' like Ron used to call it.   
I came across the room and stood next to him.   
"That's a frog" I said quietly.   
"It doesn't look like a frog" Draco wondered, trying to look at the jar from different angles but not daring to touch it.   
"I would say it's really old. It almost lost its shape" I was saying.   
"So we are going to the Yule Ball together?" he asked me putting his arms around me.   
"Yes" I said firmly.   
He gave me a small kiss on my cheek and left.   
  
Draco's POV:  
  
Hah, I'll be getting her sex in no time. Latest at the Yule Ball.   
  
Hermione's POV:  
  
I know he likes me!  
  
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'Day comes out sicker than the cat  
Something's wrong now that is that  
Mister Somewhere missing somewhere  
Never did figure out just how much'  
  
Mr. Somewhere, by This Mortal Coil (Blood) 


	6. Double Entendre

'Someone told the story about Prometheus  
And there is Odysseus, known by the name of Ulysses  
Sailed the Mediterranean Seas'  
  
Advocating: none of the characters in the story belong to me, accept the fat ugly Laura.   
  
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Draco sighed softly, his soft hair falling over his face. He was sitting in front of the fire, his legs raised on the sofa. Gregory was there talking to Laura. Draco set the two of them up, they'll be going to the Yule Ball together.   
Vincent was monitoring them over a book; of course, under the big and thin book he had his issue of the 'Playwitch'.   
"Draco, you think I would look prettier in baby blue or gold?" Laura asked Draco.   
"What's the occasion?" Draco asked indifferently.   
"The Yule Ball, silly" she said, slapping Draco's thigh playfully. Gregory didn't acknowledge this gesture because he was too busy staring at Laura's overexposed bust.   
"Oh... well I think you would look adorable in both attires" Draco smiled to her coldly.   
"Draco there you are" came a screeching voice of Pansy. She sat herself down right next to Draco.   
"You need me for something, don't you?" Draco smiled mystically. She smiled showing her ugly teeth.   
"Of course I need do you. Well, I would like to know who is that mysterious lady you said you were taking to the Yule Ball?" she said, crossing her legs.   
Pansy wasn't that ugly after all, Draco thought, just had square butt.   
"You really want to know?" Draco sighed.   
"Yes" she pleaded. Everyone that was within their earshot turned to hear this - Gregory, Vincent, and Laura.   
"Hermione Granger" Draco said confidently. So what if it's Mudblood. Malfoy Doctrine doesn't condemn pretending to like a Mudblood to get sex if she's hot. After all, his father said: "The outcome justifies the methods".   
"You are not going to go with the Mudblood?" Pansy screaming ear piercing scream.   
"Why not?" Draco shrugged his shoulders, standing up.   
"Draco, it's against the Malfoy doctrine..." she cried.   
"What the fuck do you know about the Malfoy Doctrine? It's a book of three volumes and it's only available to the true Malfoys. Anyway, there is not such a case as this" Draco shrugged his shoulders.   
Pansy opened her pink mouth to say something, but Draco said "Crabbe, Goyle, we are going to sleep now."   
And they left. Draco could feel Pansy's scornful gaze behind him. When he got to the deserted dormitory -- Blaise was down in the common room, talking to someone -- Draco told the truth to Vincent and Gregory. Well not the whole truth, he excluded the part about his father's losing-virginity-blackmail. Only the part that he's going out with the Mudblood is to get the sex. Vincent and Gregory laughed at his brilliance just as Blaise Zabini walked in.   
Draco rolled his eyes, laying in his bed, already changed into his pyjamas.   
"What's so funny, mate?" Blaise asked Gregory, his spirit high.   
"Nothing" Gregory shrugged telling Blaise he's going to the Yule Ball with Laura.   
"Well I got Pansy" Blaise smiled shrewdly. Draco was thinking how Pansy would crawl up to his feet if he told her so, even though she is currently mad at him. "She appeared a bit mad at you, though" said Blaise to Draco.   
Draco replied with a small smirk.   
"Did you make her mad on purpose?"   
"No, she got outraged when she heard I am going out with a Mudblood."   
That was the last thing he said, and before he fell asleep, Draco Malfoy fantasised about fucking Hermione Granger.   
  
Hermione, Parvati, and Lavender were sitting at the corner of the dormitory, giggling hysterically.  
"Having fun girls?" Ron asked, sitting down beside them. They automatically tried to keep serious (which of course wasn't working well).   
"Yes" Parvati finally giggled. She still didn't have partner for the Yule Ball, after George Weasley blew her of for some Hufflepuff.   
"Could you two please leave me alone with Hermione?" Ron asked them, feeling pretty confident. He had to do it now or never. Parvati and Lavender left, giggling, as Ron glanced to find encouraging glared from Harry, and his twin brothers.   
Hermione sighed deeply knowing what is coming.   
"So Hermione, I would like to ask you to come with me to the Yule Ball" Ron said, mustering enough strength to pronounce it without stuttering or going red.   
"Oh Ron..." she wanted to cry badly. How is she going to explain him?   
"It's not like Viktor Krum is coming all the way from Bulgaria to take you to the Ball" Ron joked going immensely red. He felt she's going to blow him off  
"No. I already made plans with someone else..." she twitched, staring at her perfect nails.   
Each of them had an audience in the other end of the room - Hermione had Parvati and Lavender, and Ron had Harry and the twins.   
"Who?" said Ron flatly now going very white.   
"Draco Malfoy" she said quietly.   
"What? Did I hear you right? Smug git, Mister Draco "I-Always-Brag-About-My-Evil-Father" Malfoy" Ron yelled suddenly.   
"Ron, it's not like that" Parvati said, coming over with Lavender. Parvati was trying to calm Ron down, while Lavender and Hermione were having quick and unfathomable conversation if they should tell Ron about their Draco plan.   
"Ron you silly idiot..." Parvati started just as Harry approached. The twins retreated because George didn't want to go near Parvati. Last time he was near her, telling her about the Hufflepuff girl, she screamed out loud trying to claw off his skin.   
"Hermione, how could you?" Harry snapped at her.   
And they explained them everything. That calmed them down. It put Ron into mild depression and Harry into a sceptic frenzy.   
"You don't honestly believe that he likes you, do you?" he asked Hermione.   
"Of course he likes me, he stares at me all the time" Hermione sighed. Ron gave her an insufferable stare of mistrust.   
"He stares at you because you're damn hot" Harry snapped at her.   
"Oh, and you just noticed that she's hot right now? You didn't care for all these years that Hermione is drop dead gorgeous? Is that what you're trying to say?" screamed Lavender. She was really good at screaming.   
"No, it's not that..." Harry sighed loudly and continued "Hermione, he just wants your sex. I am sorry to inform you, but Draco has the lowest opinion of you. To him all the Muggle borns are scum, he will never respect you for who you are."   
"Harry, he was really nice to me. He likes me."  
"He doesn't like you" Ron hissed just for himself.   
"Wouldn't you like for Hermione to at least once get Draco back?" snapped Parvati "You, Mister Potter, you always defeat him in Quidditch... well not for the last time, but we know they cheated, those dirty filthy scumbags. And you Ron... well, Ron, you... uhm... you are like..."   
"I know, there is not possible way I can compete with Draco Malfoy" Ron said carelessly. He also adapted sad face.   
"Listen... Harry... Ron... I'd really like if I could get back at Draco with the fashion. I would love it if you'd help me" Hermione said, tear shinning in her eyes. It would not ruin her make up -- Parvati and Lavender taught her to purchase waterproof make-up.   
"Fine" Harry sighed nodding his head patiently. Now all the stares were aimed at Ron. Ron's chin was under his find and he was staring out of the window. Instead of saying anything, he just stood up and left.   
"Ron..." Hermione called after him feebly.   
  
"Augh... that's not the right hole."   
"They are both so big, I cannot see in the dark" was heard from behind the curtain.   
"Okay, then just go back to the hole you originally wanted..."   
"I can't find it now."   
Draco Malfoy woke up hearing some strange sounds. He crawled out of his bed, putting his long robe on. The dim light was illuminated by a crystal on Vincent's night table. Blaise also got up. He approached Draco.   
"What is this?" he asked. Draco shook his head and pointed that it's coming from Vincent's bed.   
"Oh sweet, he is having sex" Blaise said in cheerful voice. Draco put his hand over Blaise's mouth and approached Gregory's bed. First thing he did was lightened up his wand and aggressively pushed the drapes from Gregory's bed. The scene was followed by his 'Eew', Blaise's 'Ooh', Laura's scream, and Gregory's silence.   
Draco was staring at two naked bodies on the bed, both fat, both ugly. Gregory was apparently trying to tity-fuck Laura.   
"Get the fuck out of here! Go and have sex somewhere else" Draco said in such cold tone that he could explode any minute.   
Gregory and Laura put on first thing they could reach and got lost from the dormitory. Vincent was still sleeping.   
Draco frowned heavily, reaching into his trunk. He drew a piece of cloth and unwrapped it. Inside was a pack of cigarettes. It was half empty. He offered one to Blaise before he lightened up his. Blaise accepted it, and they sat down on the sofa and ashed on the floor.   
"They are disgusting" Draco commented after letting out several breaths.   
"We should've listened to them. It's truly funny when people are having sex" Blaise said delightfully.   
"What, did you even have sex?"   
"No" Blaise said sulkily, but added shrewdly "did you?"   
"No" Draco snarled "but I am going to make the Mudblood have it with me."   
"God, why are you going on and on with the Mudblood" Blaise said, choking slightly at his cigarette.   
"I want to fuck her, that's it" Draco shrugged insolently.   
"You don't have any feelings for her by any chance..." enquired Blaise slowly.   
"No" Draco answered quickly.   
"Atta boy" Blaise tapped Draco on his shoulders.   
  
Ron had no intentions of discussing anything about Hermione with anyone. He retreated from Harry and took his usual refuge with Dean and Seamus.   
Harry tried to talk to him, but Ron would answer with short answer.   
Hermione was suffering through all of this, but she was determined not to let Ron ruin her chances for defeating Malfoy. She was hoping that once she got her revenge on Draco, Ron will finally realise how wrong was he. Lavender and Parvati were plotting something, with help of Harry of course. They didn't let Hermione know anything about it, even though she was the one that is supposed to do it.   
They were sitting at the breakfast table.   
"So that's it... okay, I am going over to Seamus" Lavender said and walked over to sit beside Seamus. Seamus, who was conversing with Ron about Chudley Cannons (Seamus also fancied them), immediately turned to Lavender and Ron was left with Dean to discuss football. Ron had no idea what is Manchester United which Dean was intensely talking about.   
Just then, Draco entered the Great Hall being followed by Crabbe and Goyle. His traditional black attire swirled behind him. Hermione noticed her gave her a small smile and sat down.   
Today, she looked extra hot. Parvati had done her hair in a nice bun and Lavender did descrete, but tasteful make-up. She wore black dress pants and green shirt.   
"So what is the plan?" Hermione asked Harry who sat beside her.   
"Lavender, Parvati and I swore to solemn silence for now. We'll tell you when it needs to be executed" Harry told her. Parvati smiled at him and he smiled back at her. From that point Parvati couldn't stop giggling. Harry went red.   
"Why don't you ask her out for the Yule Ball?" Hermione asked him in whisper, Parvati too busy with her giggle to hear.   
"We went out last year and it didn't work out" Harry sighed.   
"Parvati, would you like to go out with Harry for the Yule Ball?" Hermione said abruptly. Harry went scarlet and Parvati suddenly stopped giggling.   
"Yes, I would love" she answered and continued giggling madly.   
"Oh really?" Harry gasped. Now he was really thankful to Hermione. All since last night, he was struggling to ask Parvati out to the Yule Ball. He was wondering who'll Ron go to the Yule Ball with.   
"Well, we all have partners now for the Yule Ball. Draco and I, Lavender and Seamus, and you and Harry" Hermione sighed happily.   
"Who shall Ron go with?" Harry asked curiously.   
Hermione didn't have time to feel guilty because the owl mail arrived. She received usual letter from her parents. She read it, nothing important just to notice an eagle owl coming over and dropping of a letter for her. She stared at the direction of the owl, and it came from Draco Malfoy. He smirked lasciviously at her.   
She opened the letter and read it quietly. It said "Meet me in the Quidditch Pitch after the breakfast". She nodded at him over the tables and Draco widened his smirk.   
She told Harry and Parvati about the note, both of them still very red.   
"Go and meet him" Parvati ordered her.   
"Now?" Hermione gasped. And she understood. Parvati wanted to be left alone with Harry.   
Hermione went to the Gryffindor tower first and grabbed Lavender's cloak with silver fastenings. Lavender can't be mad at her, she already started wearing Hermione's new shirts.   
When she came to the Quidditch pitch, Draco was already there, clutching a broom.   
"Hello" she said to him. He was wearing black cloak, his cheeks red in the cold. It was snowing, and snow was all around them.   
"I wanted to try out my new broom. Father said that I can have that instead of sword" Draco said coldly showing it to Hermione.   
Hermione took it in her hands. It said 'Nimbus Platinum'.   
"Not as flashy as Potter's Firebolt" Draco said softly "but it not even in shops yet. You know, father's very interested in always having the best broom, so he decided to buy it to me before it even hits the stores."   
"It's really pretty" Hermione handed back the broom. Lavender taught her that her charm with Seamus was that she was pretending to be interested in Quidditch, even though she couldn't care less.   
"I wanted to try it out... with you" he said and motioned her to sit in front of him on the broom. Her gripped her hard and they ascended into the heights. Draco was delighted by the smoothness of the broom as Hermione was saying silent prayers. Snow was so thick that they couldn't see far away from them.   
Hermione moaned softly.   
"You like flying?" Draco said on her ear.   
"No" said squealed waiting for them to crash into the Hogwarts Castle.   
"We'll go down" Draco said softly. In no time Hermione's feet were on the earth.   
"Let's go, it's too cold outside" Draco said taking her hand. She realised they were still on the Quidditch field.   
"Where are we going?" she asked.   
"You'll see," Draco muttered.   
He opened the door of the Slytherin Quidditch change room with a password.   
"Don't worry, no one will come here. I persuaded Professor Snape and he let me change the password of it for today, because apparently I need to go there and mediate" Draco said. Hermione glanced around. It was nice. Everything was in black marble and furniture was covered in green satin.   
"Who paid for this?" Hermione gasped.   
"Salazar Slytherin" Draco shrugged taking her cloak of and throwing it over an armchair; he did the same thing with his own cloak. "Sit down, it's not like we have anti-Gryffindor wards on the furniture."   
"No, but maybe you have some of the itching powder left" Hermione replied acidly.   
Draco smiled at her and pulled her to sit beside him. His face was still red and his hair was wet.   
"Did you like the broom?" he asked her.   
"Yes" she lied. She hated his guts and everything that belonged to him.   
"That's nice. Would you like to see Slytherin bathroom?" Draco asked taking her up before she had chance to answer.   
Bathroom was also in black marble and it resembled her prefect bathroom.   
"Isn't there girls/boys section?" Hermione asked.   
"Why? Girls seldom get on the Quidditch team, and if they do we like sharing bathroom together" Draco said casually taking his robes off. "It's hot in here" he commented.   
"Would you like to see the Malfoy organ now?" Draco asked, looking in her eyes.   
"What?" Hermione gasped going red.   
Draco chuckled. "No, it's not that I am going to start stripping instantly. I meant the instrument. Father installed the new organ at our house, and he sent be a blue print of it."   
"Yes, sure."   
Draco took out big white sheet and shower her how big was it. She couldn't believe why the fuck did anyone need this in their house?   
"It's really magnificent" she said and he smiled mystically.   
"I want to take a bath with you" he said "strip yourself to your underwear".   
He started unbuttoning his gray shirt and noticed she's standing still. "Take it of" he sighed. "Look, now that we're going out you'll have to give in."   
"I am wearing a thong" Hermione said softly.   
"Even better" Draco said delighted. He made Hermione strip down into her bra and thong. She was grateful to Parvati and Lavender that they make her vax her full bikini area.   
"You lied to me" he said taking his shirt of. Hermione stared at his six pack. "You're not wearing thong, that's a g-string" Draco commented now taking his pants of. He was left in Slytherin-green boxers.   
"Ladies first" he showed her towards the pull full of warm water. Hermione went in there first. Draco went after her. The depth was fine enough for him but it was a bit deep for her, and she wasn't a good swimmer so he immediately took her in his arms.   
"You smell nice" he said smelling her hair and feeling her body against his. Hermione had one of the biggest shudders when he forced her legs around his waist.   
"This will hold you easier" he said staring in her face.   
"What are you waiting for, kiss me" Hermione said. He did so. Their mouths came together and he forced his tongue through her soft lips. Hermione never witnessed such a forceful kiss. Viktor, the only guy he ever kissed, was shy and inexperienced. But Draco was great. His hands were everywhere, touching her places so she went numb.   
"You want to go and make love?" Draco asked her stopping in between long kissed.   
"I don't know..." she said. She wasn't planning this. She wasn't even thinking about losing her virginity before the marriage.   
"Don't worry, I won't push you" she said softly kissing her neck and chest. Hermione was embarrassed when she realised she was moaning.   
Draco chuckled softly again. "Can I take your bra off?"   
"No" Hermione replied determinedly.   
"I only have my underwear on, you know" he said making such a puppy noise. And then he took her bra of himself and threw it out of the pool.   
"Draco" she cried gluing her body to his so he couldn't glance down at her naked breasts.   
"Your nipples are hard, I had feel them over my body" Draco sneered. Then he remembered not to be rude now.   
"I think we should go now. I should really go studying" Hermione said, tugging him towards the ladders for out of the pool.   
They were out and as Hermione was hiding her bosom under her arms Draco reached for the wand from his pants and said something. Their underwear was dry again. Hermione put her bra on and her clothing. Draco lazily put on everything.   
"So I'll see you tomorrow in Care for Magical Creatures?" Draco said to her as she was leaving.   
"Yes. Draco, what are you going to wear for the Yule Ball?" she asked him before she left the Slytherin change room.   
"Something black and expensive" Draco said absently and gave her a small good-bye kiss.   
  
"DRACO KISSED YOU!!!" Parvati and Lavender screamed their lungs out in the dormitory when Hermione told them.   
"Well we had this whole make out session" Hermione shrugged.   
Parvati and Lavender screamed even louder.   
An angry knock and 'SHUT THE HELL UP!' was heard on their door. Probably Katie Bell.   
"Okay, that's it. There is the plan... hear it out..."   
  
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'Course now that trickery's gone  
And my song ends with chorus  
Matrix of ourselves  
We live like hell with no remorse' 


	7. The Charm of Malfoy Organ

'At the point of departure  
On the eve of despair  
Your recourse to reason  
Seems to make no sense at all'  
  
Advocating: none of the characters in the story bellow belong to moi.   
  
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Hermione was told the entire plan.   
She liked the outcome of it, but not the whole idea. A bit too mean towards poor ol' Draco. But c'est la vie. Did Draco have a slightest bit of remorse when she was in hospital, petrified by the Basilisk? No. Simple and vapid no.   
  
Ron still did not deal with the idea of Hermione and Draco. He was walking with Dead, as Lavender was walking hand under hand with Seamus. Parvati and Harry were walking at the end of the row, giggling madly. Hermione found them funny. She was walking side by side with Neville, who seemed to have grown two feet in last two months.   
The Slytherins were there already, at the Care of Magical Creatures class. Draco was talking to Crabbe and Goyle; they were sniggering.   
Hagrid wasn't out yet. Only Fang ran towards Harry.   
Neville was saying to her: "So I really think I finally gained some self confidence... not like I didn't have it before... I got new pair of pyjamas without any teddy bears, bunnies, or kiddie images... and I don't sleep with my night light anymore..."   
Draco suddenly approached Hermione and she smiled.   
"Sod off, Longbottom" Draco sneered at Neville. Neville opened his eyes fearfully and fled away from Draco and Hermione.   
"You shouldn't be so mean to him" Hermione sighed. Draco didn't reply just gave her a 'hello' kiss.  
"That was refreshing," Hermione said. Parvati and Lavender were staring at them with their mouth open, among many other people. Ron was apparently really interested in petting Fang.   
"And you promise you won't be mean to Hagrid, today?" she asked Draco, as he took her books to carry around for her.   
"Was I ever mean to Hagrid?" Draco sighed, adopting that 'Denise the Menace' puppy face.  
"Draco, please..." she whined.   
"Okay, I'll do my best" Draco sighed just as Hagrid came out of his hut. He looked extremely messy today. Draco immediately knew by the way he's absent that he's on his hang over. That's how his father looked like when he did something previous night. Lucius always used to say to him: 'The only shitty thing about drinking is the hang over'. Draco partially knew what he meant.   
Hagrid looked suddenly woken up when he noticed Hermione and Draco holding hands and standing together.   
"Today, yer gonna learn about Dragons. Now, unfortunately, I cannot bring a real dragon to school, but we can have a lot of vivid pictures. The dragon we'll study today is Norbert... I mean Norwegian Ridgeback," he said, small tear going down his eye.   
Draco chuckled self-satisfactory and commented just for Hermione to hear: "That's an ugly one..."   
"Draco" Hermione snapped at him.   
Draco scowled tightening his grip on her hand.   
At the end of the lesson, Hagrid dismissed everyone accept Hermione. Draco told her he's going to lunch and whispered her in a small voice to meet him at the Quidditch Pitch, twenty minutes before the afternoon classes start. Hermione agreed and followed with her stare as everyone walked away from her.   
"What d'ya think yer doin'?" Hagrid asked her.   
"Nothing," Hermione said suddenly feeling numb.   
"What's the thing between you and Malfoy?" Hagrid narrowed his eyes to slits.   
"We are going to Yule Ball together... only that" Hermione answered fearfully. Never has she realised how huge Hagrid is until now.   
"Yer gonna go with that bloody stinkin' rat?"   
"Hagrid, please, allow me to explain you..."  
"There's nothing to be explained... he's not worth ya, Hermione... and don't talk to me anymore..." Hagrid was yelling and then turned around, storming into his hut. Hermione stood there for brief moment, turning around and then fled. So what if she was going out with Draco Malfoy? He was nice to her.   
  
He was at the Quidditch pitch, his hair looking silver under the cool winter sun. It was snowing anymore, only that Draco was cursing 'that blighted snow' that stood everywhere around him.   
"Doesn't Quidditch pitch have heating system?" a small voice came behind Draco. He turned to see Hermione Granger standing, her hands on her hips. She apparently heard him swearing.   
"Did you read Hogwarts: The History? They cannot put any charm on the Quidditch pitch, because that would screw up the magical border in the air" Draco sighed.   
"Actually, I read everything accept that Quidditch related part" Hermione said.   
"Well I read only the Quidditch part" he said, approached her, and gave her a kiss.   
"Now, I feel better" he smiled. The smile was way too cold to be a smile of liking. But Draco masked it with a smile of pure passions and she couldn't see behind that.   
"Where do you want to go?" he asked, putting his arms around her.   
"What do you mean?" she smiled churlishly.   
"We'd both get cold if we started humping here in the snow," Draco's malevolent eyes seemed to shine intensely.   
"We can go to the Slytherin change room... or even better, the Gryffindor change room" Hermione smiled. She was the one that was dragging him now.   
"What if someone comes in?" Draco protested.   
"Don't worry. Nobody will. I spoke to Harry, and he gave me password. Trust me..."  
The entered it. Naturally, room was covered in red artefacts. Red benches, red sofas, red lockers, red bathroom door.   
Draco took off his Hogwarts robes and cloak and peered around.   
"Your bathroom sucks?" he snickered looking around the plain bathroom, with only showers and a Jacuzzi (no pools). Walls were covered in mirrors. There was a mirror in front of the toilet, on every cubicle, so people could catch their face while they were taking their crap out. Fred and George liked discussing their face expressions when they pooped, especially during meals, loudly.   
"So, do you think that fifteen minutes is enough to take a quick bath?" Hermione said, a mischievous smile on her lips.   
"What do you have next?" Draco asked, taking her closer to him.   
"Charms... you?"   
"Defence Against the Dark Arts... we can both skip... the DADA teacher loves me... Flitwick won't even notice, that senile fool" he said taking her into a warm kiss.   
"I brought you something to wear as we're taking a bath... you know, we don't want to get our underwears wet again" she said playfully, taking a dark pink vinyl swimming tank in front of Draco.   
"I am not wearing that" he said instantly.   
"I have a thong bikini under" she smiled. Draco made a face and grabbed the underwear. He changed inside one of the toilet cubicles. He could adore his perfect body while he was taking his clothes off. 'You're one sexy bitch, Draco' he said quietly to himself.   
He came out, Hermione already in her bikini. She gave a snigger seeing him in dark pink vinyl tank.   
"People even wear vinyl bathing stuff?" he asked sceptically sitting down into the nice Jacuzzi.   
"Yes, I got it yesterday out of the mail order. Just for you, my love" she taking embrace on him.   
They kissed softly, Draco trying to grip her naked butt. It wasn't working, because Hermione would take his hand away from that place.   
"You're one bad girl" he said to her, forcing her top off. Hermione screamed like Parvati and/or Lavender.   
"Draco, you just ripped it" she said.   
"Even better. Move your arms away from your boobs" he ordered sitting closer to her. Hermione didn't do so.   
"Please" he added making an adorable face, like when he was young and he wanted ice cream from his father in the winter because his mother didn't let him. Lucius was also really drawn to candy and ice cream (he kept at least one drawer at his bureau filled with candy; of course if there was any space left from the alcohol bottles).   
"Okay" Hermione sighed, moving her hands away from her breasts. Draco stared at them for a moment, then with a gently movement, placed his lips onto her nipple. She moaned quickly, and he was already sucking onto her breast.   
"You like this, don't you?" he smirked, his breath hitting the tip of Hermione's nipple.   
"Can I do it to you?" she asked devilishly.   
Draco moved back, leaving her clear way to him. He could feel her mouth moving over the smooth surface of his skin. Those tanks were really starting to annoy him. It wanted to go up, but it couldn't. And the water, massaging every part of his body... he was in heaven.   
Draco suddenly grabbed Hermione's head, making it go down lower, he wanted something to... or at least to get blown.   
"Draco, are you trying to kill me?" she snarled, letting go of him.   
Draco stood stunned for a moment, realising that he was forcing her head down the water.   
"I am sorry, I didn't realise."   
Hermione shook her head, muttering incoherently.   
"I am sorry. I just wanted a blow job badly" he sighed, putting his head on her shoulder.   
"It's okay" she replied firmly. "Let's just talk..."  
"What do you want to talk about?" he asked.   
"Are you going to get your sword?" Hermione asked curiously stroking his hair.   
"Of course. I always get what I want" Draco sneered malevolently. Hermione didn't see his image in the mirror in front of them because it was full of water vapour.   
"When?"   
"Really soon, ma chère..." now Draco's lips curled into a really mean smile.   
There was a short silence after which Hermione started again.   
"Is the iron maiden really your favourite way to torture people?"  
"Yes, it is. When I was little, father decided to educate me about things I'll need. He also likes the iron maiden. To show me how it works, he took one of our enemies and stuck her into it. She was screaming in anguished pain while the metal spikes were driven into her flesh. She died later... and when someone dies, the bottom simply opens and disposes person outside."   
"Draco, you think it's right that your father showed you something so morbid and nasty?" Hermione asked in concerned voice, her right hand on his neck.   
"Of course" Draco shrugged insolently "didn't your parents teach you stuff like that?"   
"Uhm... no. They were really strict about me. If I didn't behave properly I would get grounded and had to stay in my room."   
"Only?" Draco suddenly trembled. "There is a bitch called whip with two-way blade. If I'm not good, I am getting it."   
"Oh my god" Hermione gasped.   
"I am just joking, sheesh" Draco reassured her, now he hugged her, and her head was on his chest. She wasn't very comfortable, but she didn't complain. "Father would never harm me in that way. He occasionally slaps me so hard that I fly on the floor and my nose can't stop bleeding. But he would never whip me or cut me. He says that only sexual perverts do that. I didn't want to comment anything on that."   
"Draco, can I ask you something?" Hermione said carefully, getting up and looking in his eyes.   
"What is it?" he narrowed his eyes.   
"Why do you hate Muggles and Muggle borns?"   
"Don's worry about that" he said, kissing her lightly. Then he rose up, took of his trunks and went to have a shower. As Hermione was changing, of course making sure that when she's changing to her underwear that she had a towel around her, she watched Draco take a shower.   
He was adorable, a piece of art. She was blushing on his erection while he was totally indifferent that his dick is about to burst. He was taught to control himself.   
"It is one of the finest Malfoy organs around, isn't it?" Draco shouted at her over the sounds of water. Cold shiver went through her body upon realising that Draco noticed her staring at him.   
"I didn't mean to..."  
"Feast your eyes" Draco turned to her, giving her a wide grin. Hermione was now red, and she just had to go to the other side of the bathroom to comb her hair.   
She was combing her hair for countless hours and it was done when Draco was fully dressed.   
"What are you thinking about?" Draco said, taking her behind the waist and putting his mouth onto her ear.   
"What excuse am I going to give Professor Flitwick" Hermione sighed, suddenly feeling guilty for not attending the class.   
"I'll get father to talk to him if he makes you any problems" Draco sneered. Hermione scowled.   
"Calling your father for everything isn't a solution to a problem" Hermione said smartly.   
"Of course it is" Draco smiled unpleasantly, "tell me, do you want to do it?"   
"Do what?" Hermione smiled enigmatically, applying powder on her face.   
"You know what I'm talking about..." Draco said, snuggling his face into her neck.   
"Not now" she said.   
  
The night of the Yule Ball was a final night to execute their plan. It was like a Judgement Day for everyone.   
Hermione was sitting calmly at the vanity table, combing her hair. It was sleek and smooth. Behind her, Parvati was putting on her fifth dress, not caring that she's showing around her under garments. Lavender was running around frantically, screaming.   
Hermione gave up on asking them to do her make-up. She applied one of the complicated charms and smoky colour appeared over her eyes. Her lips were full and fiercely red.   
"Quick, how do I look?" Parvati screamed. Hermione turned around to see her wearing a long pink silky dress that was so tight that you have to cut it to take it off. She actually wouldn't have to it, just to do some magic it would easily come off.   
Lavender wore dark plum dress with exposing breasts. "Where's my hair clip?" she was screaming around.   
Hermione was the only one to notice the knock on the door. It was no one else then Katie Bell, complaining about the screaming again. After she finished her usual 'Shut the fuck off', she complimented Hermione on how sexy she looked.   
"Lavender and I picked it for her" Parvati said, over Lavender's constant noise.   
It indeed looked fabulous. It was black and short. And it was simple, no straps, nothing. Enchanting. And nice black shoes with thin heel.   
"Well, I'm off to meet Lee Jordan" she said and dashed away, wearing red robes.   
  
Draco was nervously staring at his own reflection in the Slytherin bathroom. He didn't seem to notice Blaise that was angrily banging on the door to let him in because he really need to take piss.   
Finally Draco shower some pity to poor Blaise, and let him in.   
"Rrgg, even I would go down on you in those black velvet robes" Blaise joked, still pishing.   
Draco smiled contentedly, knowing that it's true. Everyone wants to go down on him. From Professor Snape, tiny Professor Flitwick and Angelina Johnson, to Viktor Krum. Only person that possibly wouldn't try anything with him was his father, who was so in love with himself that he would clone himself and go down onto himself. Draco chuckled contentedly remembering his father's word. 'You can be as pretty as you want but remember: I am the most beautiful'.   
Lucius would repeat that to Narcissa, who would pretend she doesn't hear him.   
"Well you do look pretty adequate, too" Draco said carelessly as Blaise zipped his fly.   
"Oh, thank you on such a remarkable compliment" he said sarcastically.   
"Good luck with Pansy" Draco added.   
"Good luck with the Mudblood" Blaise said closing the bathroom door, leaving Draco to adore himself all by himself.   
And he was ready with a condom stack. And the Malfoy organ was ready, too.   
  
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'Looking back, it's so bizarre  
It runs in the family  
For all the things are'  
  
Level 41, 'Running in the Family' 


	8. The Yule Ball

'Ní uasal ná íseal ach thuas seal is thíos seal'  
  
Advocating: nothing belongs to moi accept Lucius who is not featured in this story.   
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She descended gracefully down the castle with Parvati and Harry. She caught a glimpse of Ron. In the Great Hall he met with Eliosa Midgen. He didn't seem particularly cheerful wearing his new charcoal robes. The ones bought by Fred and George from the money Harry gave them.   
Fred and George spent a lot of money on their clothes. They looked like pimps. Angelina was giggling under Fred's arm, who wore velvet suit and robes, and carried a cane. George, and the cute Hufflepuff who Parvati now dispised, wore also dark blue velvet suit and robes and fur scarf. He had boots with small heel and shades.   
"I didn't expect you'll be looking at other guys" drawling came from behind of Hermione. She turned around to find Draco alone, wearing nicest and most expensive robes she ever saw in the wizarding world. His hair had some extra shine tonight and it was falling over his pale face in sensitive spikes.   
For a tiny moment, Hermione noticed Draco's cold gaze meeting with Harry's. Harry was radiating hatred more then a radiator was radiating heat (in winter). Hermione silently linked her arms with Draco and they proudly entered the Great Hall together.   
Draco took them to sit at the table with his Slytherin friends. Hermione didn't protest. If the plan worked, well there will be no harm in spending some - err - quality time with fellow Slytherins.   
They sat down. Hermione glanced down the table. Gregory was there with Laura who's bust was hanging over her baby blue dress with gold decorations. Vincent was able to get a date with Millicent who looked as unpleasant as always. Pansy was shooting Hermione looks of hatred while her partner Blaise's eyes shined strangely. From time to time, his stare would glitter in Draco's direction, who would smile coldly at him.   
"So, Pansy, are you having a good time?" Draco asked Pansy coldly, who just scowled and turned her head away from him.   
"What about you, Blaise?" Draco grinned in Blaise's direction.   
"It's all very... entertaining" Blaise grinned back. Then Pansy whispered to Blaise, but Hermione was able to understand, "This is a disgrace of the whole kinder". Draco obviously heard it, too.   
"Let's go and dance" he said, taking Hermione away. She was relieved to be away from all that tension.   
Slow music was playing, and they locked their bodies together. He had his face buried in her hair. Now she wasn't so much shorter than him - of course her heels gave her five extra inches.   
Hermione resented his bloody face being close to her, but it was all worth it. Parvati said they had it all planned. She also said, in very icy voice, that Fred and that blasting idiot George will help them execute their plan. So now there were five people in it. But she knew it couldn't go wrong because Fred and George were on it.   
Looking around, she noticed many faces staring at them. Many jealous girls who wanted to be ones dancing with extra-hot Draco.   
"You're very quiet" Draco said in her ear. Shivers went though her body instantly.   
"I am enjoying you" she replied.   
"You can enjoy me even more tonight... if you wish" he continued.   
"Enjoy you, or enjoy famous 'Malfoy Organ'?" he asked teasingly, playing with the collar on his neck.   
"Both... and I'll be enjoying the 'Granger Organ'."   
Hermione gave a heartfelt laugh. The truth is, she didn't even have a proper conversation with him (aside for that moment in the Gryffindor change room), and they were already planning to have an honest fuck.   
"What, Grangers don't operate in organs?" he drawled.   
"Mmm..."   
And it was the end of their conversation. Hermione started observing teachers. Hagrid was drunk, talking to tiny Professor Flitwick, who was sipping on chocolate milk. Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall were dancing together, too.   
"Let's take a walk outside" he said almost inaudibly to her.   
She agreed, but told him she should go and just say something to Parvati.   
  
Parvati gasped.   
"Okay, so we're all set. Lavender went to check with Fred and George and they'll be ready anytime."   
"Good luck" Harry told Hermione gripping her bare shoulder.   
"Thanks" Hermione smiled.   
She turned around and walked outside the castle where Draco was waiting for her.   
Draco had his hands in pockets and was smirking mystically. When she came out, in short dress, he gave her his cloak to wear not to be cold.   
"Where do you want to go?" he asked not being able to wait any additional minute to do it.   
"Somewhere with not a lot of show" Hermione said sweetly.   
They walked quickly towards the edges of the Forbidden Forest.   
"So, is this place okay?" Draco asked not even waiting for the answer. He kissed her lustfully.   
For a moment, Hermione was thinking about dropping the whole thing. Staying here with Draco and losing her virginity.   
But maybe not... why here, in the snow?   
Draco didn't have a faintest comment about the environment. It was all the same to him - satin bed or snow.   
"Draco, I am cold" Hermione wined as he kissed her neck pruriently.   
"Don't worry, I'll warm you up" he said to her.   
And it was now for plan to be executed. She has been practising this spell for ages now. Parvati actually taught her.   
"Close your eyes my love, I have a surprise for you" Hermione said in his ear. He did so.   
Hermione took out her wand quickly, muttered few words and fled. Draco opened his eyes two second later feeling cold wind on his legs, but Hermione was gone away, towards the castle. But the things was... Draco's pants were missing. They vanished.   
It took Draco few minutes to realise what just happened. Hermione left him without his pants, in the cold weather, taking away his cloak. He was so angry that he wanted to kill her. He fled towards the castle, praying that no one will be in the hallway when he enters. He didn't know any other entrances for the castle. And his wand was left in the dormitory.   
'That bitch will pay me' he was thinking.   
He peered inside the castle when he approached. He thanked God again that no one was outside, on the grounds, to see him.   
And no one was inside. He stepped inside cautiously. Just as he was getting ready to run towards the dungeon passage way, the doors of the Great Hall, that have been closed, opened suddenly. Fred and George were the ones that opened them to be correct.   
Draco wanted to run, but he couldn't. He couldn't hear, but the twins yelled something and suddenly everyone was out there, peeping, and looking at Draco in the underwear.   
Draco wanted to die that exact moment. He felt terrible heat in his face - he knew he was redder then Weasleys' hair.   
"Mister Malfoy, would you explain what you are doing?" someone said stiffly. Draco looked up seeing Snape's white face. He could hear the laughter and pointing now. He will kill the Mudblood.   
"I was taking a walk around" Draco said quietly. He couldn't think of a way to use 'my father' in a sentence now. He suspected that Lucius would rather prosecute him then help him out of this situation.   
Snape said nothing, just pulled Draco down the dungeon corridor.   
  
Hermione was standing there, in the background, watching Parvati, Harry, Lavender, Seamus, and almost everyone laughing. She wasn't. But she neither regretted what she have done - Draco deserved it. He wanted her dead, he wanted her Muggle born friends dead in the second year. He wanted her sex.   
"I never expected to see Draco wearing pale blue boxers" Harry was on his knees, supporting on Lavender.   
But the best was yet to come. Ron ran to Hermione, with wide grin.   
"That was bloody brilliant!" he exclaimed and pulled Hermione into a tight hug. She wasn't even expecting it.   
"I know" Hermione smiled feebly.   
  
Draco knocked on Severus' office.   
"Enter" said he.   
Draco slowly opened the door and came in. Snape sent him to get pants and come back and see him.   
"What exactly were you doing?" said Snape, his tone jaded. Like Draco was his son.   
"I was taking a nice walk around" Draco said quietly, lethal stare out of his eyes.   
"In your underwear?" Snape raised one eyebrow, his hand shaking and holding a quill, as he was deciding to write or not to write to Lucius, and tell him what happened with his son.   
"Yes" Draco sneered unpleasantly.   
"So then, I can inform your father about what happened?" Snape said walking around, and stepping in front of Draco.   
"He'll found out anyway" Draco sighed.   
  
Gryffindor celebrated about what happened. Ron smuggled Eliosa Midgen in Gryffindor common room and no one seemed to really care. He was really starting to like her.   
Hermione was happy and melancholic. Well it was time to take a shower and wash off all the make up. She didn't need it anymore.   
She went upstairs to the dormitory and started taking the things off realising she was wearing Draco's cloak. Accidentally, well not so accidentally, her hand went into the pocket, and she felt parchment inside. She took it out and was fighting herself to read it or not to read it. She read it.   
It was a letter from Lucius to Draco, the one about how will he get his sword when he looses his virginity. And everything was clear to her, and Zabini's stare during the dinner. She realised Draco was with her all this time just to fuck her. It didn't make her feel particularly happy, rather depressed.   
  
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'Life is not about being born noble or lowly — it's more a case of ups and downs' 


	9. Father Says 'Bear it', and Bear it Shall...

'And they told us, all they wanted  
Was a sound that could kill someone  
From the distance  
As we go ahead  
And the meters go over in the red'  
  
Kate Bush, Experiment IV   
  
A/N: this is the last chapter of the story. I want to thank everyone who took their time to review. And I want to apologise to all you Lucius haters out there, but I am not capable of possibly even considering to write a real fanfic without having him in it.   
  
Disclaimer: the characters used in the story are no property of mine, but of J. K. Rowling.   
  
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Lucius Malfoy glanced at the yellowish piece of the parchment balancing at the top of his palm. His gray eyes wandered around his cold study. As the sun raised up, early in the morning, illuminating Lucius' pale face through the curtains, Lucius read the letter one last time. It was from a mysterious lady that claimed that Draco took her virginity last night.   
  
Lucius smiled coldly, gripping the letter in his hand, and thinking 'That's my boy'. He opened the drawer of his desk and took out a thin long package.   
  
"I knew you could do this, Draco."   
  
  
  
Draco Malfoy woke up in cold sweat. Bad dream, again. Dream was that he was sitting, naked, in the bathtub full of warm water and spitting red blood from his mouth. And blood tasted so real in his blighted dream...   
  
He felt particularly irritated this morning. Vincent and Gregory were silently unwrapping their Christmas presents, looking away from Draco. Draco sighed. The terrible aftermath of the of the last night's happening.   
  
"You got some presents, too, Draco" Zabini said in tricky voice from the other side of the room.   
  
"I am not blind, thank you very much" Draco snarled at him. He did not even care anymore about what everyone thought about what happened last night. He went greedily through his pile of presents coming to something that looked like a sword packaging.   
  
  
Draco tear it open and found a 45 inch blade shining in the light of dormitry torches. He gripped the hilt tightly as Vincent and Gregory stared at him, look of triumph writen all over his face.   
  
It was too early for Draco to be happy about the sword. He looked down the wrapping finding the note from his father.   
'I keep my word' was only thing it said. But it was not clear to Draco - he didn't lose his virginity last night. And then he looked around, thinking, and realising that his cloak was missing. He remembered, he gave his cloak to the Mudblood last night. And the letter with Lucius' preposition was in that cloak. Could she possibly? She didn't give him back the cloak...   
  
He had to talk to her.   
  
  
  
Hermione received a little message, saying 'We need to talk' during the breakfast. Even though no one signed it, she knew who was it from -- Draco, who haven't showed up for breakfast. And she knew exactly what to do -- go down to Quidditch pitch after the breakfast.   
She did so. This time, she was absolutely fearful to come down to him. And she had told no one where she was going.   
  
Parvati and Lavender weren't happiest with her transformation to her old self. Bushy hair, conservative clothing, no make up, just a normal Hermione.   
  
  
  
Draco was there, brushing snow out of his hair. Hermione immediately noticed a silver sword in his hand, shinning in the sun.   
  
However, when she carefully reached him, he did nothing to make it look as though he was going to use it to harm her.   
  
"What is it?" she asked, rather briskly. Draco seemed extra insolent today. Nodding in her direction he told her to come closer to him.   
  
She did so.   
  
"You found the letter, didn't you?"   
  
Hermione answered with silence.   
  
"And you wrote to my father telling him how we did it."  
  
There was nothing to break the bond between their eyes. And nothing to fracture the impalpable truce with them.   
  
"Yet, you embarrassed me thoroughly last night. AND, you have kept the favourite cloak" Draco said with a cold gaze in his eyes.   
  
"I wanted to get back at you" she replied firmly.   
  
"Oh really? And do you think I am so daft not to have it figured it out already?"   
  
"No. I was just wondering why were you ever so unpleasant towards my friends and me?" now it was Hermione's turn to bear coolness in her eyes.   
  
"I don't know, you irritate me. Especially now, Mudblood, when you are back to being your old ugly self. And you were really a hottie... But, c'est la vie. Father says, 'bear it', and bear it shall I."   
  
"You don't want to call it a truce between us or anything?" Hermione wondered.   
  
"Nope. Things will go back as they originally were. You know, I'll torment Harry because he has no proper family, Ron will be teased because of his poverty, and you'll be the worthless Mudblood" Draco shrugged, compressing the hilt in his hands.   
  
"Fine. Have a nice day, Mister Malfoy."   
  
"You too, Mudblood. By the way, keep the cloak. That is the present from me to you."   
  
"I will" she said indifferently, leaving Draco to make snowmen and behead them with his sword.   
  
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'I'll make dust of the whole damned wall  
I'll make hovels for all the worms left off   
my hands to save these idiot bastards'  
  
The Ministry, Never Believe (The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste) 


End file.
